Blake Kiltoff

This here is my website where I put my schedule for standup shows, maybe some blog posts or something, and a portfolio of my finest works and merchandise as I strive to whore myself.

Rejected Romance Novels

Sometimes I have great ideas for romance novels and I send off a title and a short treatment to a few publishers, but I never hear back…

If any of these strike your fancy, feel free to take them and run with them.

Dough Boy Goes Off-Roadin’

He was just a stud muffin lookin' for some mud stuffin'

Pirates of the Peen-Trance

With his trusty crew alongside him, Captain ‘Peg Leg’ (who has both feet) joins a trio of island girls in their quest to tame the White Whale.

A Bezos Affair

A trillionaire learns the true value of love: half.

Circus Fuck Fest of whores

A gang of plucky high-schoolers investigate the spooky sounds coming from the old, abandoned circus.

Cannibal Cannabis Canine Bust

Detective Pierce and his K9 companion Roscoe investigate a drug dealer’s compound, only to discover horrors buried in the basement and new passions buried in their hearts.